Benjamin J. Rolland for Mod Status

"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben) 02/17/2016 at 13:57 • Filed to: Make Oppo Great again

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Oppo, you need mod leadership you can get behind. One of you in The Mod House. Not someone who “has experience” or “works with computers”. You need someone who is going to whip this place into shape. Which is why I would like to announce that I’m running for mod status. Divided, we fall. But together, we can maybe get one of us (me) a seat as a mod. With Ben as a mod you can rest assured I’m incorruptible. I can’t be bought by big commenter. I also stand behind traditional oppo values, that is, posting ridiculous cars and attempting to get a press car by saying you’re from jalopnik. Other kinjas are laughing at us, and we can’t have that. We must prove that we are the greatest Kinja in the world. I promise to build a firewall that will keep those from bullshift and cigar lounge out, and I will make them pay for it. I will take back our posts from the sub blogs and get back to making our authorship and essay output the best in Kinja. Stand behind Rolland! Make Oppo Great Again!

Edit: Free hellcats and blackbirds for everyone if I get elected.

Edit 2: my campaign song is chosen:

CB > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:04

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I denounce Ben’s attempts to divide the Kinja-verse. As a Canadian and a member of Oppo, I feel that it’s important to recognize the differences offered by each and every member, and to embrace those differences. A campaign of fear will lead to worse posts, a more divisive community, and possibly stop the Blackbird from ever returning to the side bar. While I do respect the opinions of my fellow Opponaut, I must denounce his tactics. I implore you to vote CB for Mod in order to allow everyone to benefit equally from what Oppo has to offer us.

not for canada - australian in disguise > CB 02/17/2016 at 14:06

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Hear hear.

For Sweden > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:06

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I’ll support this nomination in return for a Hellcat

pauljones > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:06

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Polls show you’re winning in Bumfuck, Nowhere but trailing in the all-important Bilderberg/Illuminati Mod demographics.

RallyWrench > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:07

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What is happening.

Your boy, BJR > CB 02/17/2016 at 14:08

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Check the edit

Your boy, BJR > For Sweden 02/17/2016 at 14:08

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Consider it done

CB > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:09

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Damn you’re good.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:09

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But what is your stance on small French hatchbacks? This is what the people want to know IT IS WHAT THEY DEMAND.

For Sweden > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:09

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I’ll start making stump speeches once it’s in the driveway.

bob and john > CB 02/17/2016 at 14:10

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just offer free poutine and healthcare

CB > bob and john 02/17/2016 at 14:11

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The free healthcare has to come with the free poutine. Speaking of which, I should get poutine for lunch...

Matt Nichelson > CB 02/17/2016 at 14:12

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I denounce Ben’s and CB’s attempts and say that I should become Oppo’s next mod. I’m not sure why. Something about doing mod things or something. Also I live in Mississippi, so pity should be taken. So um, yeah and stuff.

Klaus Schmoll > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:13

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To further equality, I nominate a non-human. 100% of the mods are humans. I demand to end this unfair policy! Equal opportunities for humans and non-humans nao!!!!

Your boy, BJR > RallyWrench 02/17/2016 at 14:14

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I'm going to make Oppositelock great again!

CB > Matt Nichelson 02/17/2016 at 14:14

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How would you like to run for vice-mod with me? I like your no-bullshit gusto.

pauljones > bob and john 02/17/2016 at 14:16

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What kind of poutine are we talking?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > bob and john 02/17/2016 at 14:18

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Can we have free healthcare and just raises canada’s taxes even higher without effecting mine?

bob and john > pauljones 02/17/2016 at 14:18

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really really good poutine.

with bacon bits.

Matt Nichelson > CB 02/17/2016 at 14:20

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Thanks to everyone for their support. After a great deal of thought, I have decided to discontinue my campaign as Oppo Mod and work along side CB as vice-mod. Vote CB/E92Matt, or something.

PushToStart > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:22

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But can we at least dispel the myth that Party-vi doesn’t know what he is doing? Because I, for one, believe he knows exactly what he’s doing. I’m not sure if anyone else gets the sense that he is undertaking a systematic effort to change this Kinja, but it seems to me that he knows exactly what he is doing. So let’s, once and for all, dispel this myth that Party-vi doesn’t know what he’s doing...

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:23

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Subject #108344572
Alias - Benjamin “Doc J” Rolland
Status update: Week #3 of no cadillac.

Subject has progressed rapidly through signs of psychosis and megalomania. Chevrolet cruze ownership being forced onto him seems to have only worsened his condition. Subject is now attempting to emulate failed experimental toupee model #7 - the one known as “trump”.

Notes - check hair care products for similarities. Forbid any and all private jet travel for Benjamin. Get shotgun and assassinate any remaining toupees from the “Donald incident”. The madness might be contagious....

CB > pauljones 02/17/2016 at 14:28

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What kind do you want?

bob and john > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/17/2016 at 14:29

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no.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > bob and john 02/17/2016 at 14:34

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You guys have giant taxes anyhow - you wouldn’t even notice.

Gamecat235 > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:37

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I’m Gamecat235 and I support this message... wait, what did I just say? What the hell is going on here?

RallyWrench > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:40

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In 4 Hellcats & Blackbirds.

The Ghost of Oppo > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 14:47

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I assume you are running as a member of the Nationalist Opponaut Party?

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > bob and john 02/17/2016 at 14:51

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You have my vote

RallyWrench > PushToStart 02/17/2016 at 14:56

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I, for one, would never question that Party-iv does not know what he is doing. Let us not lower the tone of this campaign by slanderous accusations that Party-vi does not know what he is doing. A world in which Party-vi does not know what he is doing is a world unthinkable, one of chaos and degeneracy in which the sky is green and up is down, outside the realm of physics, one where cartoon characters run for President. So we shall not presume that Party-vi does not know what he is doing, because it’s simply not possible. To the contrary, Party-vi must know what he is doing, because he has gently nursed an E46 past 150,000 miles, and because the sun came today as it always does when Party-vi knows what he is doing.

RallyWrench > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 02/17/2016 at 15:00

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One can only assume, given his known fondness for Cadillacs, that he does not hold them in high regard.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > RallyWrench 02/17/2016 at 15:02

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Then my vote will go elsewhere.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 15:30

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First we elect Rolland to the moderator office, next thing you know all the German cars on Oppo start systematically disappearing, never to be seen again. Hide yo’ Bimmer, hide yo’ Benz.

Your boy, BJR > The Ghost of Oppo 02/17/2016 at 15:30

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*Nationalist Opponaut Party Elite, or NOPE.

Your boy, BJR > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/17/2016 at 15:35

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The German cars want to destroy the American luxury way of life, I will bar any German cars from being sold in this country, and deport the unregistered ones until we figure out what is going on!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 15:38

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Just because a few German cars were driven by Hitler does not change anything about the vest majority of them being peace-loving vehicles seeking a comfortable life free from Euro-ENCAP slaughter here in our great nation. Ours is a nation of imports!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Klaus Schmoll 02/17/2016 at 18:13

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touring the brook - now with ZHP! > Your boy, BJR 02/17/2016 at 19:36

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I was expecting plain old Lenny Kravitz.

Instead I got Milkyway Kravitz.